For Shirochan July 2004
by Felicity ‚³‚ñ
| The events portrayed in this story are entirely fictional and are employed
for entertainment(?!) purposes only. For Shirochan July 2004. ................................................... "Like I told you, it's imperative I get on this plane. I've been receiving reminders all week from Cinders and if I miss this one I won't reach Kawasaki in time to celebrate a very important birthday." "What was your name again?" "Gross, Paul Gross." "I'm sorry Mr. Gross; we don't have anyone of that name listed for this flight. The only unchecked passenger is a Constable B Fraser RCMP." "Ahh ... that's me, you see I'm...." " So, where's your red jacket then?... I'm sorry Mr. Gross but in no way do you even remotely resemble RCMP, look at you slouching here over the desk in your leather jacket, t-shirt, jeans and rollerblades.... and you're chewing gum!" "Well as I was about to say, I'm an actor and .... Did you ever watch a TV programme called 'Due South'?" "Can't say that I did - saw one called 'North of 60' ...." "I wasn't in that." "Well there you go." "There I go where?" "Over there to reservations to buy a ticket to Japan." "But I've already got one reserved by Cinders for B Fraser!" " Nope..Constable Fraser's ticket was reserved by someone called Jill." "Oh for f***s sake!" "Bad language won't help sir and if you continue...." "I'm very sorry, but Jill is Cinders' real name, she helps run ****, my internet group and if I don't make this flight she's going to do some terrible things to me - like knit me a fluorescent pink sweater and make me sit in ****s's chat room on my own next Saturday without any cigarettes or gum." "Oh this just gets better and better doesn't it? Now let me get this straight, you're Paul Gross and B Fraser and she's Cinders and Jill, - anyone else you'd like to try and confuse me with?" "Well there's Pgrossfan aka Grizz who's really Noel and then there's fliss3uk who used to be martin7 - no relation to johnny seven as far as I'm aware - who is really Felicity and not only is Jill Cinders but also hamlets tart and big pink dress." "Enough already! Mr. Gross or whoever you are you have around one and a half hours before this desk closes. Come back here with absolute proof that this Fraser guy is you and maybe I'll let you fly." "Do you have a tape player to hand?" "Oh sure! ... I carry one of those around with me everyday!" "I meant somewhere in your airport offices." "Well yeah,... I think Jim's got one down in security." "So if I can get hold of a tape showing me as Constable Fraser you'll let me fly?" "Possibly, ... if I can get authorisation to amend the booking details." "Hi Martha, it's me..... Do you think you could dig out one of the mountie tapes and bring it out to the airport and maybe the spare suit too?... Um, I've got a bit of a problem here at check in ... it's at the back of the closet.... behind the Hamlet stuff... no I haven't been drinking again.. Oh and make sure it's not the tape Jean Try-it-all-over sent me ....yes I know you like that one...yes, it is cleverly put together ...look, this isn't funny..." "Twenty five minutes left Mr. Gross." "It's OK, here she is. ..... Where's the security office?" "I can't tell you that Mr. Gross." "Why not?" "I would be in breach of our security regulations if I gave you directions to the security office." "Sooo...just take me to Jim's tape player then." "Certainly Mr. Gross, it's just up here on the left....." "Your last name isn't Turnbull is it?" "No, it isn't..... Why do you ask?" "Oh, no reason..." Back at check in 10 minutes later. "Here's your boarding card Mr. Gross, enjoy your flight - you do look rather fetching in your red suit.... no I'm sorry there's no time for you to change now...thank you kindly for the signed photo....don't forget your hat!" "Well, at least Shirochan won't have trouble finding me at the airport. I wonder who else will be at the party. Cinders said to expect the unexpected whatever that means. Now, where's that Japanese phrase book....?" |